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General Category >> Contest Stories >> Dawn of the Vampires by Adrienne Ray

Message started by ArthurS on Aug 24th, 2009, 4:10am

Title: Dawn of the Vampires by Adrienne Ray
Post by ArthurS on Aug 24th, 2009, 4:10am

This one got me chuckling. (SPOILER ALERT) Vampires bent on world domination who are going to do it through a National Health Care System? And theyíre Socialists! How fantastical can you get? Everyone knows that Vampires are Free-Market capitalists with a serious addiction to talk radio. I mean, itís all about survival of the fittest. Predators naturally feed off the sick, the old, and the weak. That pretty much describes everyone without health insurance. (Unless, of course, you have Medicaid / Medicare -- which ainít the least bit socialist.) So why would Vampires WANT to change the natural order? Our present situation benefits them.

Ok, all kidding aside, I love Adrienneís work and I thought this story had the benefit of being very timely.  Thatís a double-edged sword because it can get people distracted from the story as they examine how you are portraying life today -- but it does get the reader involved and thatís always good. My one thought was that the idea of how the Vampires are destroyed is a really good one and I think it got buried. I would have liked more of an exploration of the nature of a vampire (an evil spirit with a physical form) and how that tenuous hold on the world can be broken with a modern bit of tech warfare. I thought that solution made a classic monster much more contemporary. So, nice job.

Title: Re: Dawn of the Vampires by Adrienne Ray
Post by tripping on Sep 8th, 2009, 8:21am

This was a neat little story. Too bad it only garnered two stars.

A digreesion: I LOVE vampire stories! I am writing one now about a vampire who falls in love with a werewolf, but the werewolf turns out to be a vampire who is really, really †hairy; and when the real looking vampire (looks like Keifer Sutherland in Lost Boys) finds out the deception... Oh, I really don't want to give it away. I am just delighted to see a vampire story is all.


Title: Re: Dawn of the Vampires by Adrienne Ray
Post by John Gilbert on Oct 3rd, 2009, 5:38pm

Adrienne - this was a GREAT story!  I loved the ending.  Well done!

John Gilbert

Title: Re: Dawn of the Vampires by Adrienne Ray
Post by Adrienne_Ray on Feb 23rd, 2010, 4:28pm

It's a shame I just saw this. My computer was broke for several months. It worked a minute or two and then quit. I had it in the shop several times. Anyway, thank you all for your comments.
I am working on a vampire story myself but it has grown into a novel so no one will see it until a year or two when I finally get it finished.

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